tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-141724352024-03-07T18:54:00.997-05:00We're Only Immortal for a Limited TimeA perfect storm of ignorance and enthusiasmUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger184125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-15673992284592034622011-09-01T14:47:00.003-04:002011-09-01T15:03:15.504-04:00FEMA's Waffle House IndexUnknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-79435467221148122702010-10-11T11:34:00.004-04:002010-10-11T11:42:50.410-04:00Google=Skynet Part 9: Nothing's gonna save your one last dime 'cause it owns youI'll keep this short. Now Google is making cars that drive themselves.Also, they must have got all the speech samples they needed for the robots to understand us, because they are discontinuing their free 411 service.Previous Stories:Google=Skynet Part 8: Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after youGoogle=Skynet Part 7: Could it be that the smog's playing tricks on my eyesGoogleUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-29163175482983212352010-07-29T14:00:00.001-04:002010-07-29T14:00:35.822-04:00Standin' on a corner in Winslow, ArizonaA few years ago, I had just finished my last semester in college. I got my final report card in the mail, only to discover that the professor for one of my online classes failed me. I was upset, as I had gotten A's and B's on all of my assignments. I called him, and he told me that I hadn't turned in the final exam, which was worth 40% of the grade. I looked in my sent mail folder and told him Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-23641438814261428232010-02-18T17:59:00.007-05:002010-02-18T22:49:49.537-05:00Should we take action to mitigate the man-made causes of global warming?It's a hot topic, debated on every news channel and internet forum. Is global warming (or its new moniker "climate change") really happening?* If so, are we causing it?Those are the wrong questions. The questions we need to ask are:What will happen if we don't do something and man-made global warming is really happening?What will happen if we don't do something and global warming is real, but Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-11066341577627324962010-02-12T11:44:00.002-05:002010-02-12T11:47:38.732-05:00A Homeopathic cure for obesityI just discovered a homeopathic reason for the obesity epidemic!Starting with the 2 premises of "like cures like" and "water retains a memory of all substances that have been introduced in it", I will show how the "modern" practice of sewage treatment has contributed to the obesity epidemic.First, what is the opposite of obesity? Starvation. What cures starvation? Food. What does too much food Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-53256725085555670102009-10-29T07:48:00.000-04:002009-10-29T09:51:46.350-04:00Google=Skynet Part 8: Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after youVia CollegeHumor, but there is nothing funny about it.Previous Stories:Google=Skynet Part 7: Could it be that the smog's playing tricks on my eyesGoogle=Skynet Part 6: 'Cause I think we've seen that movie, tooI've got a secret I've been hiding under my skinGoogle = Skynet, Part 4Jake's JK: This is not a good signUh oh, Google is at it againGoogle's Plan for Worldwide DominationUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-48257451843657101662009-10-28T12:00:00.001-04:002009-10-28T12:01:23.884-04:00Google=Skynet Part 7: Could it be that the smog's playing tricks on my eyesPrevious Stories:Google=Skynet Part 6: 'Cause I think we've seen that movie, tooI've got a secret I've been hiding under my skinGoogle = Skynet, Part 4Jake's JK: This is not a good signUh oh, Google is at it againGoogle's Plan for Worldwide DominationUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-377820768288808812009-09-10T11:04:00.001-04:002009-09-10T11:11:16.830-04:00The Internet is full of awesomeI'm not saying that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990, and neither ate these guys. All we are asking is why won't he deny it?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-48545875613949284342009-07-24T15:07:00.006-04:002009-07-24T15:33:46.688-04:00Forget 2012. 2019 is gonna be AWESOME!Once the realm of bad sci-fi movies, (and kickass tv shows) real life scientists are actually working on a simulation of the human brain. Seriously.Excellent news for fans of computer technology, neuroscience, and people who think that humans telling the machines what to do is totally backwards. Henry Markram, director of the Blue Brain Project, says we are ten years away from a functional Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-36141694714458010282009-06-30T14:57:00.007-04:002009-06-30T15:16:46.906-04:00Google=Skynet Part 6: 'Cause I think we've seen that movie, tooWhen an article is entitled New Technology Portends 'Sentient Computers', its going to catch my eye. Not because I think, "OMG! The robots are taking over!", but because its usually some hack job reporter extrapolating some basic technology's ability to an exponential degree. Not this time: “Landmark recognition software” can correctly identify many popular landmarks on the Web throughout a rangeUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-48995959021627911682009-06-22T13:59:00.002-04:002009-06-22T14:17:15.462-04:00NSFWI couldn't beleive this made it past the censors when I saw it on tv the other day. On a Saturday afternoon. Not on something like E! or SpikeTV, but on, I think, MSNBC or some other cable news channel.It does get its point across, although the mime has a rather high opinion of himself.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-63094333319856184382009-05-07T11:18:00.000-04:002009-05-07T11:19:01.349-04:00My question is, did he win the Jeep?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-27245287615247990472009-04-28T14:04:00.000-04:002009-04-28T14:05:35.259-04:00Every New Parent or Parent-to-be Needs to Watch ThisUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-59671972760631027502009-04-23T07:30:00.001-04:002009-04-23T09:33:19.747-04:00What's life without an occasional surprise?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-44214409082399501622009-04-20T07:15:00.003-04:002009-04-20T09:28:54.161-04:00Don't worry dear, he's not that desperate…Today, April 20th, you will see all sorts of stories on the news about how the Columbine shootings happened 10 years ago. You may also hear about Pepsi and Mountain Dew "throwback" editions hitting store shelves. You probably won't hear anything about it being a stoner "high holiday".And you definitely won't hear anything about Hitler's worst birthday ever: Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-29382470979582417032009-04-17T07:50:00.002-04:002009-04-17T08:50:56.792-04:00I got a vision in my head of how it should beWhat happens when you promote an event on the same morning as opening day for the NewYork Yankees by saying you are giving away Yankees tickets? Thousands of people show up to Times Square expecting tickets to the opening day game.What happens when those people find out that the tickets are for a game in June?This:"Pepsi used this as a format to promote their product and humiliate the Yankees Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-82363270953733277922009-02-26T15:14:00.000-05:002009-02-26T15:15:51.752-05:00Its got no cd player, it only got the 8-trackSony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking WorkUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-54965925978491424222009-02-24T12:06:00.000-05:002009-02-24T16:12:41.052-05:00I'm shining up my saddleAs you can see there's a new look around here. I took the time to clean out some old posts I may be less than proud of, and eliminated the pseudonym on my profile. It's the grownup thing to do.I also have a new blog chronicling my resumed weight loss program. Actually, it's more of a guilt trip than a program. I am posting pictures of everything I eat, so that family and friends can bitch at me Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-45753581849333519352008-11-04T10:37:00.000-05:002008-11-04T10:38:52.434-05:00I'm sure this one will drive all sorts of new traffic here<!--[if gte mso 9]> 1024x768 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]> <![endif]--><!--[if !mso]> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } <![endif]--> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:Batang; panose-1:2 3 6 0 0 1 1 1 1 1; mso-font-alt:바탕; Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-69014751728073379172008-10-24T16:52:00.003-04:002008-10-24T17:15:04.707-04:00What time will Obama be elected?Do you hate staying up late on election night to see if your guy won? Well, it looks like you may not have to this year. Barack Obama or John McCain needs to have 270 electoral votes to be considered the winner and next president of the United States. It looks like Senator Obama will reach that total somewhere between 9 and 11 pm EDT.
I compared the official times the polls close in each of the Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-59765435697954767842008-10-07T08:24:00.004-04:002008-10-07T11:25:54.783-04:00I just ignore it, but they keep saying...Isn't it funny how some things can go from being clever or unique to cliche in the span of mere weeks? Here are some of the buzzwords from this election that I would like to bury under 40 feet of concrete right about now:Wall StreetMain StreetHockey MomJoe Six-packCrater (v.)ChangeBailout (n.)$700 Billion"The current administration" -- Has George W. Bush become "He-Who-Must-Not -Be-Named"?While Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-82360549113686534762008-09-26T13:53:00.006-04:002008-09-26T14:25:55.747-04:00Let's do some math, shall we?“At this point, Congress is being asked to support an uncertain entity, costing an uncertain amount of dollars, for an uncertain duration – a decision that will have implications for generations to come and requires absolute certainty.”– Congressman Jeb Hensarling, TX, and Chair of the House Republican Study CommitteeProposed Wall Street Bailout: $700 Billion÷Current US Population: 305 Million Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-14791238619374868442008-09-02T11:04:00.001-04:002008-09-02T11:04:05.370-04:00Dismissing thought of progress as the mark of devilryUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-15378785964318014742008-07-30T12:46:00.004-04:002008-07-30T12:51:32.414-04:00RE: Subject: 143 days....Today I receievd the following e-mail from a former co-worker:> > Subject: 143 days....>>>> Just think how great a professional of any kind you could be with only> > 143 days of experience!!!> >> > People want change so bad maybe we should lower the experience requirement> > for physicians, lawyers, airline pilots, etc. This would cause some change!> >> > Obama's 143 Days of Senate Experience> Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14172435.post-59991281485038924922008-07-28T00:07:00.002-04:002008-07-28T00:17:38.848-04:00Always hopeful, yet discontent, he knows changes aren't permanentThere are plenty of examples where combining two of your favorite things results in a sum that is more than its parts (e.g., chocolate + peanut butter = Reese's heavenly goodness). Sometimes three of your favorite things is just too much (e.g., Reese's Caramel Peanut Butter Cups--blech!). So, imagine my surprise when I found this clip of my favorite rock band playing their song (the cover versionUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0