Plans for everyone, It's in the whites of my eyes

According to this article from MSNBC, the Chinese government routinely monitor Internet usage in their country. If you use the web to view pornography, profanity, or politically unsavory writings, you should expect a visit from the local constabulary.

Now the government has created some cartoon police officers that randomly pop up on the most popular Chinese web portals to remind you that big brother is watching. To cut down on the intimidation factor, they are cute little cherubs:


In a related story, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security is now requiring the following warning label to be placed on all telephones in the U.S.:

When you're sliding into third, and you feel a great, big...

All I can say is: Subtle.

You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals, er, reptiles

Amazon Beeyotch Headline of the Day

Woman Kills Raccoon With Her Bare Hands

You Say Stop, I Say Go, Go, GO!

Suffice it to say, I was royally pissed when I saw this on Jeep.com:

The Chrysler Lifetime Powertrain Limited Warranty
is the first of its kind to be offered by any automaker. Ever. Because with this warranty, you're covered, and it lasts for as long as you own your vehicle.

OUR LIFETIME POWERTRAIN LIMITED WARRANTY IS THE ICING. OUR VEHICLES ARE THE CAKE.
The big news is that this powertrain limited warranty applies to the vast majority of our great new Jeep® vehicles.* So if you want to leave civilization behind and explore the great outdoors in a Jeep Wrangler or a Patriot, our powertrain warranty will go with you. All the way.

THE NEXT STEP IS SIMPLE. GET TO YOUR JEEP DEALER TODAY.
The only difficult decision you have to make is picking which great vehicle you want. For more information, visit your local Jeep dealer.

Yes, Jeep is offering a LIFETIME warranty for all new vehicles. No mileage limit, no time limit. As long as you keep your Jeep, the powertrain is covered. That's great news. I plan on keeping mine for, well, ever.

Except I bought it 2 months before the warranty was announced. Does this apply to me? Read the fine print:

At the expiration of the 3 year/36,000 mile Basic Limited Warranty, DaimlerChrysler Motors Company LLC extends to the original purchaser or retail lessee of each 2006 model year, 2007 model year and 2008 model year Chrysler, Dodge, or Jeep vehicle sold and delivered on or after July 26, 2007 limited powertrain warranty for the lifetime of that original purchaser or retail lessee.

Fuck.

Wait a minute, dig further...

Now, if you purchased your Jeep before July 26, 2007, you can still purchase the Lifetime Powertrain Limited Warranty for your Jeep JK Wrangler and over the next 60 days, Don-A-Vee Jeep will be offering it to all Project-JK.com members at the following special prices:

Lifetime Warranty With a $100 Deductible
MSRP from Factory: $750
Project-JK.com Member Price from Don-A-Vee: Only $700

Lifetime Warranty with $0 Deductible
MSRP from Factory: $900
Project-JK.com Member Price from Don-A-Vee: Only $825

After September 30th, the price for a $100 Deductible Plan will go up to $1500 and the $0 Deductible Plan will go up to $1800 at MSRP. But, at that time, Don-A-Vee Jeep will still offer it at a discount to Project-JK.com members and at that time, the $100 Deductible Plan can be had for $900 and the $0 Deductible Plan for only $1050.

Get thee to project-jk.com, sign up, and thank Eddie and Jeff for the discount.