Thursday, February 16, 2006

100 Days

Today is officially the 100th day of my Atkins adventure. I had initially set a goal of losing 85 pounds in 200 days. This was due to my brother's upcoming wedding in May. I would be seeing a lot of people that I haven't seen since high school, and I wanted to get down to what I weighed when I graduated high school. As you know, my brother's wedding was moved up to New Year's Eve.

So everybody saw me really fat, although my closest family remarked how good I was looking. I was down about 20 pounds by then, and my face had really thinned out. I was determined to drop those remaining 65 pounds by the end of the summer when I will most likely be up north and see them all again.

Anyway to make a long story short, as of this morning I have lost 36 pounds in 100 days. This puts me slightly behind schedule, but I think that if I can get my lazy butt out of bed every morning instead of every other morning, I will get back on track. I currently have 58% left to lose, and 50% of the time left to do it. Even if I stay on the same pace I have been on, I will have lost 72 pounds in 200 days. Not too shabby.

Oh yeah, I'm a geek. I plotted my weight loss diary in Excel and have a running graph showing the results. What a f-ing nerd I am!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Gratuitous Plea for Comments

(Copied word for word from daniel who copied from jozjozjoz who copied from Mr. Don)

If you read this… if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don’t speak often or don’t really know each other)..... Your job, your mission, nay - even your new goal in life is to post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad. It can be about that time when I spent the night with you in the South American jail because you got drunk and tried to pick up on a cop.... or it could be about that night that felt like that time half a forever ago when you and I hopped on railroad cars and rode clear across Kentucky… BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you’re finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON’T ACTUALLY remember about you!

Post away - and be creative!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Top Ten Reasons Why Hockey Is Better Than Sex

10. It’s legal to play hockey professionally
9. The puck is always hard.
8. The protective equipment is reusable, and you don’t even have to wash it.
7. It lasts a full hour, with two short breaks in the middle.
6. If your stick breaks, no big deal, you just get a new one.
5. Your parents cheer when you score.
4. When somebody gets tired, you can put in a fresh man.
3. Periods last only 20 minutes.
2. You can count on it at least twice a week.
1. A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon.

Monday, February 06, 2006

How I Feel About My Sprint Cell Phone

I don't have live TV or e-mail capability on my Sprint cell phone, but that new "crime deterrent" feature is going to get a lot of use from me.

A Little Surprise Waiting for Me

A called me at work this afternoon to tell me that there would be a surprise waiting for me when I get home.

Get your mind out of the gutters you perverts!

It's my New iPod Nano! Expect 4 to 6 weeks for delivery? Not on your life! It was on my doorstep five business days from when I mailed my affadavit of eligibility.

I have assloads of homework to do tonight, do you think they're getting done? Well, probably, but I will be wearing earbuds at the same time. Hearing be damned!

Here's a picture of my new iPod Nano. I didn't realize how tiny this thing is until I got it out of the box!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

ABC Does It Again!

During tonight's Superbowl XL from Detroit Rock City, the Rolling Stones performed the halftime show. Those of you who have been with me for awhile may recall my rant about their appearance on the NFL kickoff show last September. Well ABC still has its panties in a wad about the whole "you make a dead man come" lyric in "Start Me Up." They bleeped it out again.

Apparently my opinion means nothing.

I should be used to it, I'm married (j/k A).

Oh, and since we have the new (previously owned, new to us) bigger TV and surround sound system (really new, thanks Mom-in-Law) in the living room, I was looking forward to hearing the pre-game and halftime musical acts in all their 5.1 channel glory. Stevie Wonder and co. sounded great on the pregame show, but ABC's crew (Don Mischer Productions, you suck) took until halfway through their last song (Satisfaction) to get the levels right for the Stones set. So much for world-class entertainment.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Thursday, February 02, 2006

WWRD? or, Human Animal Hybrids

I try to refrain from politics on this blog, not for any specific reason other than my own lack of time to devote to the issues. I could waste the entire day researching my arguments and surfing the various political blogs. I don't do this, mostly because I become an angry, mean-spirited asshole when I hear from the empty heads with open mouths who try to tell me that they know what's best for me and the rest of the country.

So, I try to stay out of it.

Those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile know what my personal political leanings are. For those who don't, and are too lazy to click the above link, I am conservative when it comes to government spending and control, but liberal on several rather important issues that prevent me from registering as a Republican.

I am a large supporter of small government; they should stay out of our lives as much as possible when it comes to taxes, spending, business regulations, abortion, religion, and sex. I believe that every able-bodied and able-minded American should rely solely on himself (or herself) in good times and his family and friends in bad, leaving off the hook the government and anyone who doesn't want to be involved. It's their prerogative to not have to help if they don't want to.

So what's the point of all this, you ask? I admit that I am reluctant to criticize Republicans in general, and the Bush administration in particular. I truly believe that President Bush is doing what he believes is best for the country. I support the war effort in Iraq and Afganistan (yes, they are still there, too). I cringe when I hear liberals calling our soldiers over there "our children" or "boys and girls." They are all adults. They made the decision to join the military and are not being exploited by the governement. They knew the consequences when they signed up, many even joined because they wanted to go and fight. If you don't want to go and fight to spread democracy to new nation, don't do it. But don't call those who want to do it terrorists or murderers. It's just not true.

Back to my point, I usually support President Bush, and I normally consider Google one of the most potentially dangerous companies in the world. My fears have now been justified. The U.S. Department of Justice is using the court system to get Google to give up their search records.

Heroically, Google has told them no.

This has severe consequences. Internet users rely on search engines to provide quick, easy access to anything on the web. They do so with the understanding that their search will remain private and without government monitoring.

I wouldn't have much of a problem with it if this action were taken by the DoJ in support of finding terrorists and those who seek to do our country harm, as in the case of the perfectly legal wiretaps ordered by the Bush administration on known terror suspects. But it is not. This is a large-scale witch hunt of ALL of Google's logs for anyone searching for pornography. Not selective enough for my taste, and not done in an act of war or criminal activity (unless you count self-abuse as a crime, which I do not).

They are trying to use the information from Google's database to show that the Child Online Protection Act should be reinstated. I am all for keeping porn away from kids, but shouldn't parents be responsible enough to:
  1. Monitor their kids' Internet use?
  2. Install a filter on the computer to keep porn and other unwanted content out?
Let's face it, if a 14 year-old boy wants to look at boobs, he's gonna find a way to do so. Don't let the government keep a record of every American's personal turn-ons and preferences based on their Google habits.

President Bush seems to be too focued on the religious stance regarding pornography, and not on the laissez-faire policies of his presidential predecessors. He needs to stop asking himself "What would Jesus do?" and start asking "What would Ronnie do?"


Somebody really jumped on Bush's ramblings about cloning and human-animal hybrids.
Kudos to this site for quick action and entrepreneurial spirit! You couldn't do this is a socialist, communist, or dictatorial regime. Viva la capitalism!

Your Political Profile

Overall: 80% Conservative, 20% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Ethics: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Drowning Myself Slowly?

It's common knowledge that you should drink eight 8 oz. glasses of water every day. The almighty "they" also recommend that while on a weight loss regimen, you drink an additional 1 oz. for every pound of weight that you wish to lose. Since I have an additional 55 pounds to lose, that means:

8 x 8 oz. = 64 oz.

55 x 1 oz. = 55 oz.

55 + 64 = 119 oz.

I have a 32 oz. bottle on my desk at work. I fill it with water from the cooler as soon as I arrive in the morning. By 11 AM, I have usually finished my first refill, thereby completing my 64 oz. requirement for the day. From this point on it is all about the weight loss. By the time I go home at night, I have usually finished off 2 more refills, bringing my total to 128 oz. To put that into perspective, that is exactly a gallon. In the course of a week, I am responible for drinking an entire 5- gallon water cooler bottle.

Now, according to my calculations, this is more than enough water for someone who is trying to lose the weight that I am. I didn't even include the other (sugar free, caffeine free, non-diuretic) beverages that I drink with my meals, or the water I drink while exercising.

The problem becomes apparant when I get home. I get thirsty.

Wandering-in-the-Sahara-Desert-for-decades parched.

Last night I drank another 32 ounces of water, a 32 ounce glass of Metamucil (the lack of fiber on Atkins is a little, shall we say, tough to pass), and 2 cans of Diet Rite (no caffeine, no sodium). This morning, I still woke up feeling like I hadn't drank in a month. Even my eyes were so dry I had to put drops in them before I could get my contacts in comfortably.

The worst part, though, is on the weekends. I don't have the five-gallon water cooler in my kitchen like I do at work, so getting the regular doses of H2O just doesn't happen. By Monday morning, I am parched again, ready to go back to work and rehydrate.