Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Google=Skynet Part 6: 'Cause I think we've seen that movie, too

When an article is entitled New Technology Portends 'Sentient Computers', its going to catch my eye. Not because I think, "OMG! The robots are taking over!", but because its usually some hack job reporter extrapolating some basic technology's ability to an exponential degree.

Not this time:
“Landmark recognition software” can correctly identify many popular landmarks on the Web throughout a range of perspectives and scenarios. This new technology “enables computers to quickly and efficiently identify images of more than 50,000 landmarks from all over the world with 80 percent accuracy,” the vendor claims.

This is working, now. A robot programmed with this tech would, 4 times out of 5, be able to instantly know where it was. And the vendor who created this amazing technology?

Wait for it...
Up until now, computers could “see” what we see only in a limited and imperfect way. But suddenly things are becoming clearer. Google claims to have made substantial progress in endowing computers with image recognition capabilities, often referred to as “computer vision,” a task artificial intelligence (AI) researchers have been wrestling with for 35 years.

Google. Why did it have to be Google?
Computers are good at solving complex mathematical problems, sorting through enormous amounts of data quickly, storing massive amounts of information, etc. As Ray Kurzweil pointed out at 22.28 in a 2006 video on the "Roots of the Matrix": “Machines can remember billions of things accurately, they can do logical analysis at extremely high speed… We are not very good actually at logical or analytical thinking. Computers are already much better than us at considering the logical implications of many different factors.”

They have detailed files.
Visual pattern recognition is something AI researchers have struggled with mimicking in computers. And Google is not the only major entity accelerating in this field. Apple Inc. (Nasdaq: AAPL) is also a player. Face recognition is a component of programs such as iPhoto 09, where accuracy is about 50 percent to start with, and the program learns and the hit rate rises as more and more identifications are confirmed or rejected.

Although Google and Apple’s ambitions may appear narrow and of limited interest at the moment, a more advanced version of this software applied to the Web in general could be an enormous advance. When we add to the mix things that computers excel at -- rapid processing and prodigious memory -- we can begin to envision the potential magnitude of this budding tool, and it is like nothing we have yet imagined.

Actually, we have imagined it. It was made into 3 great movies and one shitty one.

Previous Stories:
I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin
Google = Skynet, Part 4
Jake's JK: This is not a good sign
Uh oh, Google is at it again
Google's Plan for Worldwide Domination

Monday, June 22, 2009

NSFW

I couldn't beleive this made it past the censors when I saw it on tv the other day. On a Saturday afternoon. Not on something like E! or SpikeTV, but on, I think, MSNBC or some other cable news channel.



It does get its point across, although the mime has a rather high opinion of himself.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

My question is, did he win the Jeep?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Every New Parent or Parent-to-be Needs to Watch This

Thursday, April 23, 2009

What's life without an occasional surprise?

Monday, April 20, 2009

Don't worry dear, he's not that desperate…

Today, April 20th, you will see all sorts of stories on the news about how the Columbine shootings happened 10 years ago. You may also hear about Pepsi and Mountain Dew "throwback" editions hitting store shelves. You probably won't hear anything about it being a stoner "high holiday".

And you definitely won't hear anything about Hitler's worst birthday ever:

Friday, April 17, 2009

I got a vision in my head of how it should be

What happens when you promote an event on the same morning as opening day for the NewYork Yankees by saying you are giving away Yankees tickets?

Thousands of people show up to Times Square expecting tickets to the opening day game.

What happens when those people find out that the tickets are for a game in June?

This:



"Pepsi used this as a format to promote their product and humiliate the Yankees fans."

Hey lady, Yankees fans can obviously manage that without any help from Pepsi. Like by being complete douchebags when given free tickets to a game and complaining that they weren't opening day tickets. Or by looking like this:



Or this:



Or this:



Yeah, Pepsi is the one who acted irresponsibly here.

Speaking of Pepsi, next Monday, Pepsi Throwback and Mountain Dew Throwback will be available for a limited time. Buy as much of it as you can so they are prompted to make it a permanently produced product. What is the difference between the regular and throwback versions of these drinks? Real sugar instead of high-fructose corn syrup, that's what.

Look for these and buy them on Monday, April 20th:

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Its got no cd player, it only got the 8-track


Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I'm shining up my saddle

As you can see there's a new look around here. I took the time to clean out some old posts I may be less than proud of, and eliminated the pseudonym on my profile. It's the grownup thing to do.

I also have a new blog chronicling my resumed weight loss program. Actually, it's more of a guilt trip than a program. I am posting pictures of everything I eat, so that family and friends can bitch at me when I'm bad.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

I'm sure this one will drive all sorts of new traffic here

[10:02] Co-worker: OMFG, there is some new show on TV (I forgot the channel) with an exorcist
[10:02] Co-worker: exorcising people
[10:02] Co-worker: it is the biggest bullshit I have ever seen
[10:02] Me: "reality" or scripted?
[10:03] Co-worker: reality I guess.....not scripted but also not like randomness
[10:03] Co-worker: they tape him at his sessions with people
[10:03] Me: wtf
[10:12] Co-worker: http://www.boblarson.org/
[10:12] Me: he looks like a child molester
[10:13] Co-worker: I'm sure he is
[10:13] Me: you know what freud said about beards
[10:13] Me: men who wear them are hiding something
[10:13] Co-worker: haha
[10:14] Me: billy mays? Instead of using a fishing pole he dumps oxy clean into the lake and scoops up the dead fish
[10:15] Me: Kenny rogers? he fucks the chickens before he cooks em. thats why they are soooooo tender
[10:15] Co-worker: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
[10:15] Me: ZZ top? gay
[10:16] Me: jerry garcia? straight edge
[10:16] Me: abe lincoln? gay
[10:17] Co-worker: wha?
[10:17] Co-worker: didn't you grow a beard a while back?
[10:17] Me: Jesus: not the son of god.
[10:18] Me: dumbledore: gay
[10:18] Co-worker: true, true
[10:18] Me: darwin: fucks monkeys
[10:18] Co-worker: mmhmm
[10:18] Me: grizzly adams: fucks bears
[10:19] Me: santa: hates kids
[10:19] Co-worker: hm I think YOU may be the one with a Freudian issue
[10:19] Me: freud: loved his cigars a little too much
[10:20] Me: mohammed: pedophile (but not gay)
[10:21] Co-worker: what? he was totally gay
[10:21] Me: pz myers: celebrates xmas
[10:22] Me: Dave grohl: thinks cobain was overrated
[10:23] Me: Robert E. Lee: had jungle fever
[10:23] Co-worker: what the fuck
[10:24] Me: Fidel Castro: again with the cigars
[10:24] Me: Col. Sanders: preferred steak
[10:25] Co-worker: didn't fuck chickens?
[10:25] Me: Osama bin Laden: owns stock in halliburton
[10:25] Me: Da vinci: painted by numbers
[10:25] Co-worker: are you on fucking drugs?
[10:26] Me: Hemmingway: wrote roadside ads for burma-shave
[10:26] Co-worker: ok that is true
[10:28] Me: Papa Smurf: was gargamel's father
[10:28] Co-worker: srsly do you have parasites in yr brain?
[10:29] Me: Gandalf: couldn't find a human-sized razor
[10:29] Co-worker: elf sized?
[10:29] Me: elfs cant grow facial hair
[10:30] Co-worker: why not
[10:30] Me: don't ask me
[10:30] Co-worker: hormones?
[10:30] Me: it stops at the sideburns
[10:31] Co-worker: what?
[10:31] Me: elfs grow out their sideburns cus they cant grow beards
[10:31] Co-worker: .....ok