Before She Freaks

Ok, so I know I'm not the only guy who has heard the Carrie Underwood song "Before He Cheats" and thought, "What a psycho bitch! She's imagining this whole scenario in her head and has no evidence that her man is actually with another woman." So, I imagined the situation from the boyfriend's perspective and wrote a parody/response to her song (same tune, new lyrics).

Before She Freaks

Right now, I just got out the bar where my friends were shooting pool
And I joined ‘em for the tourney
Right now, I walked out to my car and I can’t believe what my eyes have just seen
Right now, I’m calling up the cops because this time its gone too far
You don’t touch my car…

Well she keyed my paint and broke inside
And then left the doors all opened wide
I think she might have peed on the back seats
She went crazy on the mirror on the driver’s side
Cut the tires and smashed the lights
Maybe next time she’ll think before she freaks

Right now, she’s probably getting home and she’s probably wound up and still yelling and a-cussing
Right now, she’s probably calling her friends
And they’re a-telling her she’s gonna get busted
Right now, she’s probably hanging up ‘cause someone’s knocking on her door
And she don't know

That I’ll prosecute and I won’t back down
My lawyer will make her look like a clown
Eighteen months ain’t long enough for me
She won’t find a job when she does get out
And she’s gonna have to move her ass out of town
Maybe next time she’ll think before she freaks

You know I’m gonna move on and find a nice girl
‘Cause the next time that she freaks
Oh, you know it won't be on me!

No...not on me

Well she keyed my paint and broke inside
And then left the doors all opened wide
I think she might have peed on both the seats
She went crazy on the mirror on the driver’s side
Cut the tires and smashed the lights

Maybe next time she’ll think before she freaks

Oh, Maybe next time she’ll think before she freaks

Parody Lyrics © 2008 ImmortalityLTD Productions. All Rights Reserved. Feel free to sing it at a karaoke bar, but no recordings. Thanks!