I see people turn their heads and quickly look away

Oh what a nice contented world, let the banners be unfurled

When Obama Wins is predicting that President Obama will call for the dissolution of the evil, evil company known as the Google:

RIP George

All my money's gone so I'll be back tommorrow night

How to crack a geek's combination lock

This afternoon, I tracked down my TSA-safe luggage combination locks in preparation for our trip to Washington, D.C, next week. They are a three-digit combination model with a keyhole that allows the baggage inspectors quick access. Obviously they are only to prevent the casual pickpocketer in the airport waiting line, because anyone who steals your bag will (a) be a professional thief who has the TSA key, or (b) break the lock off in the privacy of their thieves den, or (c) tale the time to figure out the combination by a systematic trial of every possible combination from 000 to 999.

Which is what I had to spend the better part of an hour doing, as I couldn't remember the combination. Obviously I picked a combination that made logical sense to me, but which one? The first 3 digits of my social security number? The last 3? My area code? I couldn't remember, and none of the obvious ones worked.

Then I tried a few combinations that a geek like me might use: 255, 007, 666.

Nothing.

So it was time for the combination lock equivalent of the dictionary crack. I set the dial to 000 and tried the lock. Nothing. 001. Nada, but hey, those were both binary numbers. Not 002 or 003. Zippo for 004, 005, and 006. I tried 007, even though I knew I had just tried it (just in case). As I rolled through the digits, I realized there were even more geekilicious 3 digit combinations.

000, 001, 010, 011, 100, 101, 110, and 111 are the 8 binary combinations.
007: Bond. James Bond.
069: Bill and Ted's combination.
123, 456, 789: Not quite Spaceballs, but in the spirit.
255: The number of coins required for an extra life in Super Mario Brothers.
256: Number of unique combinations in 8 bits.
666: The combination on Marcellus Wallace's briefcase in Pulp Fiction.
241: A 50% off sale.
311: Come original.
411: Directory assistance.
711: Convenience store.
911: The reason for these stupid TSA locks.
And of course all of the triple digit combos: 222, 333, 444, etc.

But none of those was mine.

What was?

The first 3 digits of my home phone number.

Which is in the 900s.

Ha ha ha bless your soul-you really think you're in control?

Before She Freaks

Ok, so I know I'm not the only guy who has heard the Carrie Underwood song "Before He Cheats" and thought, "What a psycho bitch! She's imagining this whole scenario in her head and has no evidence that her man is actually with another woman." So, I imagined the situation from the boyfriend's perspective and wrote a parody/response to her song (same tune, new lyrics).

Before She Freaks

Right now, I just got out the bar where my friends were shooting pool
And I joined ‘em for the tourney
Right now, I walked out to my car and I can’t believe what my eyes have just seen
Right now, I’m calling up the cops because this time its gone too far
You don’t touch my car…

Well she keyed my paint and broke inside
And then left the doors all opened wide
I think she might have peed on the back seats
She went crazy on the mirror on the driver’s side
Cut the tires and smashed the lights
Maybe next time she’ll think before she freaks

Right now, she’s probably getting home and she’s probably wound up and still yelling and a-cussing
Right now, she’s probably calling her friends
And they’re a-telling her she’s gonna get busted
Right now, she’s probably hanging up ‘cause someone’s knocking on her door
And she don't know

That I’ll prosecute and I won’t back down
My lawyer will make her look like a clown
Eighteen months ain’t long enough for me
She won’t find a job when she does get out
And she’s gonna have to move her ass out of town
Maybe next time she’ll think before she freaks

You know I’m gonna move on and find a nice girl
‘Cause the next time that she freaks
Oh, you know it won't be on me!

No...not on me

Well she keyed my paint and broke inside
And then left the doors all opened wide
I think she might have peed on both the seats
She went crazy on the mirror on the driver’s side
Cut the tires and smashed the lights

Maybe next time she’ll think before she freaks

Oh, Maybe next time she’ll think before she freaks

Parody Lyrics © 2008 ImmortalityLTD Productions. All Rights Reserved. Feel free to sing it at a karaoke bar, but no recordings. Thanks!

Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight

That's right. A FrontMan Wireless Guitar for the Playstation 3. It's finally here. I'm not leaving the couch tonight.

Like that's different than any other night.

Except now, I can go out and buy Guitar Hero III without the bundled Les Paul--AND use the same guitar for Rock Band. This so kicks ass.

Hey A, do you want to be Geddy Lee or Alex Lifeson when we rock out to Tom Sawyer tonight? I'm sick of getting pwned pretending to be Neil... on frakking medium!

Boom-de-addah

Echoes with the sounds of salesmen

Going to see your favorite band live for the first time in a decade: Cool

Your favorite band extending their tour and coming back around 9 months later: Hella Wicked Cool

Your wife schmoozing the drug rep whose company has a skybox for free tickets to the show on the second leg of the tour: Head-exploding Cool

EDIT: Just found out there's 4 tickets, not 2. If you like Rush and are free Sunday night to join A and me in Ft Lauderdale, give me a call. If you know me, that is.