Atkins: Revisited

This past Tuesday, I decided to go back on the Atkins diet. I was previously on Atkins about five or six years ago, back when I was working at my previous employer. I had to work the night shift for a couple of months to train a few new people. I figured that since I had to bring my own meals there instead of going to the local fast food establishments, I might as well do it in a way that would help me drop some weight. It worked pretty well, I lost about 30 pounds in a few months—I forget exactly how long I was on it.

But the Atkins diet was a year or more away from being a full-fledged revolution. There were very few low-carb products on the market, save the ones that were naturally so. So after awhile I gave it up, because I was just too lazy (or busy) to go on preparing my own meals 3 times a day.

Then I got married, went back to school, and became a father.

Last month I caught strep throat from my daughter, and had to actually see a doctor if I wanted to get better. I hate going to doctors for one reason. Its not the part where I'm waiting in a room with a bunch of other sickos, wondering what weird diseases they might be spreading to me, and its not the part where I have to turn my head and cough (although that isn't very pleasent either). No, its the part where the nurse or medical assistant makes you step on the industrial-strength scale, the one that looks like they weigh bags of grain on. This last time I was there, the MA had to move the 50 lb weight over one more notch. It landed with a resounding clunk! I was officially a lardass.

I have never weighed this much in my life.

And I am going to be in my brother's wedding in 6 months.

Since the wedding is out of state for us and the wedding party, and most of our family and their friends won't be attending, the pictures are going to be spread around all over Michigan and parts unknown. I don't want any of those people (some of whom I haven't seen in a decade) looking at the pictures and saying "Boy, J got REALLY huge, didn't he?"

I did the math, and if I lose 10 pounds in the Induction phase and 2 pounds a week thereafter (not an unreasonable expectation for Atkins) I will drop nearly 60 pounds by the wedding. This is my goal, but if I reach it early, I am not going off the diet, because my long-term goal is 100 pounds. This will get me down to the weight I was when I rowed in college.

I think I will have to start lifting weights again to keep the muscle mass I had at that point in my life, which means either dropping a bunch of change on a gym membership, or convincing A that a Bowflex/weight bench or punching bag on the lanai or in the computer room is a good idea. The gym thing won't happen unless my job search pans out with a substantial increase in pay, but the way things are going lately, I'm not sure the weight bench will happen either. I will probably end up putting some posts in the ground and hanging a heavy bag in the backyard. Maybe I'll do that this weekend, after I finish my mid-term and homework. A heavy bag will definitely let me work out some job-related stress. I will just have to catch bitchface (my boss) with the digital camera so I can tape her picture to the bag.

And no, my decision to go lo-carb has nothing to do with my conversion to FSMism.