Five? More like two

Honey, we need a couple of these

Uh oh, Google is at it again

I told you people this before, but nobody listens. Google is Cyberdyne Systems. You know, from the Terminator movies? Remember this? Or this?

Well, they are now one step closer to evil robotic domination. This time they enlisted Carnegie Mellon, Microsoft, and Intel to help the cause.

Take a look at the photo to the right. No, that is not a miniature Darth Vader helmet on top, it's a Logitech webcam. These guys are all about using cheap, easy to find parts. All the better for roving hunter-killers to scavenge spare parts from their disabled brethren.

Carnegie Mellon University researchers have developed a new series of robots that are simple enough for almost anyone to build with off-the-shelf parts, but are sophisticated machines that wirelessly connect to the Internet.

The robots can take many forms, from a three-wheeled model with a mounted camera to a flower loaded with infrared sensors. They can be easily customized and their ability to wirelessly link to the Internet allows users to control and monitor their robots' actions from any Internet-connected computer in the world.

That's waaaay too close to "allows SKYNET to control and monitor their robots' actions from any Internet-connected computer in the world."

Jake's JK: I am the squeaky wheel

Well last night the DaimlerChrysler rep finally called me. He apologized for the long wait, its a very popular vehicle, factory not able to keep up with demand, yadda, yadda, yadda.

He told me that he had sent an e-mail to the plant manager in Toledo to find out exactly what the hold-up was, and he would try entering an identical order to mine into the computer system to see if it would have the same troubles I am now having. He told me that he would call me this morning to let me know what he found out, and gave me his cell phone number and told me that I could call him if I didn't hear from him this morning.

He called me at 11:55 this morning (just barely meeting his self-imposed deadline) and told me that my Jeep was built, in storage, and waiting for a train to pick it up.

Due to a nationwide railcar shartage (which is delaying a Ford my coworker's husband ordered last month) my Jeep should ship sometime between now and May 10th.

It's time to start obsessing about something else now. Ooh! I know! The Rush concert in Tampa that A bought me tickets to!!!!

Jake's JK: Of all the things I've ever lost, I miss my mind the most

I must've been sulking a little too much on Friday night, because A checked the inventory of several Jeep dealers across the state to see if there were any rigs comparable to what I ordered. There weren't, but the "other" dealer in town (the one I didn't order from) had just taken delivery of a Wrangler Unlimited with half doors-one of my "must have" options that I had yet to see in person.

We made the trek up to the dealership to take a look at it. The sales rep A talked to on the phone was working with another customer, but pointed us in the direction of the Jeep with half doors and told us she would sent the manager over with a key so we could look inside. When we got to the Jeep, I showed A why I want to install an alarm system as soon as I take possession of my Jeep. I stuck my finger under the canvas flap on the upper front door, wiggled it in, unzipped the window, reached in, and unlocked the door.

Aside from the half doors and 4 wheel drive, this particular Jeep had nothing that I wanted. I wasn't too happy with the "spice"-colored interior, and A hated the "baby-puke-shit-green" paint. So we went back inside and asked how soon they were expecting more Wrangler Unlimiteds with half doors. It turns out that they have five that should be arriving in early May, nine days before mine will even be built. I will have to compromise on a few of the extras I ordered, but nothing that is a deal-breaker. We will see how I like them when I sit in the driver's seats.

Today, I stopped at the dealership that is supposed to be working on getting my custom-ordered Jeep built and delivered. The sales manager told me that he doesn't have any answers for me. He was a little surprised that when his computer was updated this morning, it showed the same build date I was told on Friday. He said that the Chrysler rep was going to be stopping by at 3 pm, and he would give the guy my cell number.

Guess who never called?

Monday Morning Photo Quiz, Volume 2 redux

No one has given an answer to last week's MMPQ, so feel free to take a guess. Voting is open for another week. C'mon people, it's not that difficult.

Not sure what it is? There is a clue in this post.

Jake's JK: Heads are gonna roll!

As my coworkers will attest, I annoyingly call the Chrysler customer service hotline nearly every day to check on the status of my Jeep Wrangler Unlimited. I was stuck at the same status code for nearly three months (D-firm schedule - dealer has allocation and all parts available) and was given a tentative build date several times by the dealership, only to have each date pass without my JK being built. Each time I was given a new build date a few weeks later than the previous.

Last week my status jumped to D-1, which coincided with my most recent build date of Saturday, April 14. Well, Saturday came and went, and Monday and Tuesday I called to find myself still in "D-1" with a build date of April 18. Thursday (the 19th), I was told by Chrysler customer service that they needed to give me a new order number, and I had moved back to "D". Furious, A called the dealer, who told her that whoever I talked to was wrong, and his computer still showed a build date of April 25th (which we had never heard before).

So I called Chrysler again today, and they couldn't find my "new" order number, so I gave them my original one, which quickly allowed them to find that my last order status was "D1" (even though they told me "D" yesterday) and that my scheduled build date is now May 14th.

MAY FUCKING 14TH!!!!!

I ordered the sonofabitch on January 19th. You can't tell me that it takes four fucking months to schedule and build a Jeep the way I want it. As a matter of fact, I know it doesn't, because I have toured the Audi factory in Ingolstadt, Germany, and they are the model of efficiency and custom manufacturing, and because other people here ordered theirs after I did, and are already driving theirs. One lucky stiff ordered his, only to have it damaged by crashing into an overpass while being delivered to the dealership, and got his replacement built and delivered. All since I ordered mine.

DaimlerChrysler, Chrysler Group, Jeep, and my local dealership (who I will not name because I don't want to give them any publicity-good or bad) have all been pretty apathetic about my situation. None of them seem to think that it's a problem that a returning customer is treated so poorly. If I didn't feel so strongly about the product, I would go elsewhere. I am not willing to sacrifice on brand, model, extras, color, or any other variable. I just want this Jeep:

2007 WRANGLER UNLIMITED X 4-DOOR 4X4 S Pkg.
Flame Red Clear Coat
Roof: Black Soft Top
Interior: Dark Slate Gray/Medium Slate Gray
6-Speed Manual Transmission
Half Metal Doors with Locks
Trailer Tow Group
Command-Trac® Shift-on-the-Fly 4WD System
Next Generation Dana 44 Heavy Duty Rear Axle
Trac-Lok® Limited Slip Rear Differential
4.10 Axle Ratio
16" Aluminum Wheels
368W 7-Spkr Infinity® Sound Sys Incl Subwoofer
AM/FM Stereo Radio w/In-Dash CD Plyr/MP3 Capability
SIRIUS® Satellite Radio
Air Conditioning
Locking Fuel Filler Cap

Actually, I could live without the Trac-Lok Differential and locking fuel cap, and I might take another color or larger wheels, but that's it. Everything else is non-negotiable. If you are a dealer and can get me one faster than May 15th, let me know. If you work for Chrysler or Jeep and can do something to get my production date moved up, please do it. I will be eternally grateful.

Extreme Fun with Keywords: Jeep Edition

It has been almost six months since the last time I posted anything about the weird shit people search the Google for that leads them to my site. Since there are a boatload of searches regarding my recent Jeep posts, I decided to break the latest round of Fun with Keywords into two parts: Jeep and non-Jeep. The non-Jeep version will be coming up later this week.

After looking into the Jeep-only searches, I found there are four subcategories:

1. People looking for brochures
2. People looking for information or pictures about half doors
3. People looking for information about production delays, lead times, or their order status.
4. General 2007 Jeep Wrangler information.

Here's the first batch, Brochures:

1995 wrangler dealer brochure
2007 jeep brochure
2007 jeep wrangler brochure
2007 wrangler brochure
jeep 2007 brochure
jeep 2007 wrangler brochure
wrangler 2007 brochure

Ummmm, check out Jeep.com, retards, I bet you'll find one there! Hey look, there on the left, "Brochures".


Next is the group nearest and dearest to me, Half Doors:

2007 jeep unlimited half doors order date
2007 jeep unlimited no half doors availability
2007 jeep wrangler jk replacement doors
2007 jk unlimited half doors
2007 unlimited half door
2007 unlimited half doors
2007 wrangler half framed doors
2007 wrangler unlimited half doors
2007 wrangler unlimited jk half doors
2007 wrangler unlimited picture half doors
half door availability on jeep wrangler unlimited
how much are the new jk half doors
jeep half doors
jeep unlimited jk half door wait time
jeep unlimited with doors removed for street driving
jeep wrangler brochure 2007
jk "half doors" availability
jk jeep wrangler half
jk unlimited half doors
jk wrangler unlimited half door job #1
making 4x4 half door
picture of 2007 jeep unlimited with half doors
picture of 2007 unlimited with half doors and soft top
picture of half doors wrangler unlimited
replacement half doors for 4 door jk
unlimited half door availability
when are half doors for wrangler being shipped
where are the half door 2007 unlimited
wrangler half door job 1 date
wrangler unlimited 2007 half door set

I can't say I blame them. I have been looking since December and I only last week found pictures of actual production half doors. Here.)

Jeep waited a little too long to make this feature available for purchase. As you can see here, it is a very popular option for Wrangler fans. Hell, I have been waiting for almost three months just for the half doors. I could have walked off the lot with a JK with full doors in January, but I chose to wait. Judging by these searches, a lot of other people have, too. Smart business plan, DaimlerChrysler! Put off a large segment of your loyal Jeep customer base to fill up dealer lots with "Mall Rated" soccer mom editions that just sit there because the ride is too rough to put on makeup. It's a Jeep! It's supposed to be utilitarian. Hell, the original models didn't even have roofs, let alone roll-up windows on their non-existent doors. End rant.


Here's the biggest batch of searches, Production Times:

2007 jeep wrangler delivery status
2007 jeep wrangler production order availability wait list time
2007 jeep wrangler unlimited backlog
2007 jeep wrangler unlimited backlog of orders
2007 jeep wrangler unlimited delivery time
check on ordered jeep status
checking the status of an ordered vehicle jeep
chrysler vehicle order status
delivery problems with jk jeep
delivery time 2007 wrangler unlimited
how long are wrangler rubicon 2007 orders taking
how long for delivery of my wrangler
how long to manufacture a jeep wrangler
jeep accepting orders
jeep build status code
jeep jk order status
jeep jk production
jeep jk unlimited rubicon order lead time
jeep order status codes
jeep rubicon 14 week wait for delivery
jeep rubicon six month wait for delivery
jeep wrangler 2007 order waiting time
order backlog for 2007 jeep wrangler unlimited
order status 2007 jeep wrangler
production stopped for jeep wrangler unlimited
production time for 2007 jeep rubicon
why is it taking so long to get a new unlimited jeep sahara delivered
why is it taking so long to get my new jeep unlimited?
why is the jeep wrangler taking so long
wrangler jk delivery time
wrangler unlimited backlog

I must say, I have found the answer to several of these queries, and here is what I know. 2007 Jeep Wranglers are taking anywhere from 4 weeks to over 6 months to manufacture when built to order. Some things slowing down orders are the Rubicon package, half doors on 4-door models, dual tops, and the MyGig navigation and entertainment system. Half doors on Unlimiteds actually went into production this month, so if you order them now, you should not expect the delays like I have experienced. As far as checking your order status or deciphering order status codes goes, refer to my earlier post.


And finally, General Jeep Inquiries:

07 jeep jk wrangler unlimited
1995 wrangler sale florida dealer
2007 jeep jk owners
2007 jeep unlimited
2007 jeep wrangler and difficult to steal
2007 jeep wrangler jk
2007 jeep wrangler limited
2007 jeep wrangler unlimited
2007 jeep wrangler unlimited forums
2007 jeep wrangler won't start
2007 wrangler
2007 wrangler unlimited photo picture
black strap with a button for jeep jk
costume 4 door wrangler
jeep center console jk 2007
jeep comment
jeep jk
jeep jk no a/c
jeep jk problems
jeep jk unlimited canvas tops
jeep rumors (2007 or 2008)
jeep wrangler
jeep wrangler limited 2007
jeep wrangler unlimited
jeep wrangler unlimited x toronto
jk jeep
jk soft doors
parts for 2007 4 door jeep wrangler
set time on 2007 wrangler radio
test drive new jk jeep
wrangler unlimited sleep setup

A couple things worry me about this batch. "2007 jeep wrangler won't start" and "parts for 2007 4 door jeep wrangler" don't bode well for a future owner, however, I do know that there was a "stall bug" in early production units that was fixed with a flash update to the computer.

Also, "costume 4 door wrangler"??? Who is dressing up like their Jeep? Maybe in anticipation of the new Transformers movie? This takes the prize for the weirdest search for this episode.

Coming Soon: more crazy Fun with Keywords

Monday Morning Photo Quiz, Volume 2

Congratulations to Libby, the winner of last time's Monday Morning Photo Quiz. Her answer "one of Pam Anderson's ruptured breast implants after removal" was the only answer, so it most closely matched the correct answer, which is "Neuticles® ULTRAPLUS® feline testicular implant." According to Neuticles.com (don't skip the intro, it's worth the price of admission):

Over 225,000 caring pet owners Worldwide have selected Neuticles as a safe, practical and inexpensive option when neutering. Neuticles allowing (sic) your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering.

So now you know. As promised, the link to the winner's website is posted on the right for this week only.

Here is This week's Monday Morning Photo Quiz:

What the hell is this?



Rules and Regulations

1. Post your answer in the comments below.
2. In the event of a tie, the most "reasonably" accurate answer will determine the winner (e.g., "1957 Chevy steering wheel" beats "steering wheel").
3. Accuracy trumps timing, so feel free to post a more accurate answer than an earlier poster if you think you can do better (again, keep it reasonable... "1957 Chevy steering wheel" is good enough, and I won't allow "Chevy steering wheel with chrome alloy interior and genuine calfskin leather cover originating at Tate Farms in Gurnee, Ohio slaughtered on October 7, 1957" to win).
4. Failure to follow these rules will result in a penalty up to and including death. Just kidding! I will just ignore your entry.
5. Final determination of each weekly winner will be made solely by me. I may or may not abide by the above rules. Deal with it.

Edit: Typo on name of Neuticles site

Dammit! Janet! Time-waster of the Week

Since we weren't that busy at work today, Beth sent me a link to my favorite new time-waster: You Are Damned! It's a site where you can put in the name of your friend, enemy, mother, or favorite celebrity to damn them to Hell for eternity. The catch is, you must have a reason why they are being damned.

Some people are truly angry, and damn someone for something truly damnable:



Others just bust their friends' humps:



Some of the damnations are political (I saw George W Bush damned at least a dozen times):



Others are pseudo-ironic:



Many showcase the efficacy of the American public school system:



As usual with the Internets, there is a healthy dose of pop culture:



And who can resist the token Howard Stern reference?



Damn your friends and enemies today!

Jake's JK: Coming Soon (For Real)

A few weeks ago, I found a phone number for Chrysler that I could call to check the status of my order. Since I first found out about it, I have been stuck at "D" status (see below). I have called every week or so, but no change. My 2007 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited had a firm schedule, but there was no movement in my status since I ordered it on January 19th.

Today when I called, they told me it had moved to D1!!! It will be built this week!

An hour or so later, the dealer called A and told her that the Jeep is scheduled to ship next Wednesday and will arrive a week later. I will be behind the wheel of my JK by the end of the month.

Top down.

Doors off.

Radio blasting Rush (btw, A bought me tickets for their June show in Tampa for our anniversary).

Wind blowing.

Sun shining.

Life is good.

If you have a Jeep, Dodge, or Chrysler vehicle on order and want to know your vehicle's status, get your VIN or Vehicle Order Number from your dealer and call 1-800-992-1997. Follow the prompts, stay on the line for an operator, and they can look it up for you.

Below is a complete list of Chrysler status codes that should help you figure out what it means:

ORDER STATUS CODES

BB - review by fleet department
BD - special equipment processing
BE - edit error
BG - passed edit n/a for schedule
BGL - edit ok parts unavailable
BX - passed edit available for schedule
C - sub firm
D - firm schedule - dealer has allocation and all parts available
D1 - gateline schedule - scheduled to be built
E - frame
F - paint
G - trim
I - built not ok'd
J - built ok'd
JB - shipped to body vendor
JE - emission check
JS - shipped to storage
KZ - released by plant , invoiced
KZL - released - not shipped
KZM - first rail departure
KZN - first rail arrival
KZO - delayed/recieved
KZOA - plant holds
KZOB - zone/distribution holds
KZOC - carrier delays
KZOD - carrier holds
KZOE - mis-shipped vehicle
KZOF - show/test vehicle
KZOG - damaged vehicle
KZOH - all other reasons
KZT - second rail departure
KZU - second rail arrival
KZX - delivered to dealer
ZA - canceled